dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
