Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
