Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
