I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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