Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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