summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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