I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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