So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
