We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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