Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Panties = found
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
