Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
