I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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