you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize