A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
even my farts smell like vagina
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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