How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize