I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
