NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
