My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Do you remember whose house we're in?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
