babies were throwing up all over the place
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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