I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
