Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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