he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
