Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
