Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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