just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
