Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
