Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
