I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
