His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
