dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
