Buhtt sex?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize