Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Houston, we have a blender
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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