Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize