I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
