I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
