I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
