Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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