i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
