Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I checked into jail on foursquare
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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