You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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