its not stalking. its research.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
