she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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