so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
