A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All the doctor said was why
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
