How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
