That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
