physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
