I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
