Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
