Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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