party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize