The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
