I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
