4 words: hood of his car
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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