So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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