What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
