Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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