i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
