I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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