How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
