State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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