I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
