I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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