clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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