Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
