I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
