just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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