I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
