im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
