How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
