i think i have herpe
just one?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
