Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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