Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
