we have officially lost it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
