i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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