Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
