i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
