It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
