Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
