no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
